Aidpage

I am feeling hopeless. I believe the last place where I gave my hope and strength has left me and forsaken me which is Jesus Christ. I gave my heart to the Lord on November 15,2008 after living a life with no purpose. By the age of 28, I had been sexually abused, grew up in a dysfunctional family, had been to jail 3 times, had an abortion, survived 4 suicide attempts and suffered from alcoholism. Today I am 31 years old, have been sober almost 10 months and my world is crashing down on me again. I just returned from Lifest and thought I would come back inspired and hopeful and I feel guilty and filled with shame. I got an email today from someone in my family telling me what a bad person I am. All I have heard all my life is what a bad person I am. I am starting to doubt if God is real. I feel like I want this life of struggles and emotions to be over. I don't know how to deal without alcohol. In a matter of minutes I may choose to drowned my sorrows with a bottle. Please Jesus, I need you. I need someone to talk to.

i am 20 and 5 motnths pregnant with no job, n i am in evrest university but i dnt have a HD or GED. but my school is trying to help me. i am going to school to become  medical assisting. but i need a job now to buy a car and buy things for my baby n so i can pay my student loans back. and no1 doesnt want to hire a pragnant women who doesnt even have  GED. my 1st stap was to get back into school for a better life. but that just added my money i dnt have. i moved back in with my mom. she helps me as much as she can. but i have credt card bills i need to pay off n i need to get things ready for my baby. but i need a job right now, not when i am done with school. when i am done with school the baby is already here, i ned to buy aot of things. i am so scared that i cant get a job.

You know I've been a member since August but I still don't quite understand how things work on here......I just have a lot of problems right now.  We finally got a nice house and after the first week we lived here my husband left me. He was supposed to help me pay this months rent which was due on March 15th and I got the landlord to accept it on the 27th but this past Monday he made it clear he was not giving me the money, even after knowing I had called a church and they were going to help with the balance of what I was short.  So now I'm gonna lose this house again.  I don't understand how a man/husband/father can just let his kids end up with no where to live.  I have applied for state assistance and was approved for everything but I won't see that until sometime in April and I have to attend a class to help improve my skills and find me a job.  I am also trying to fight my Disability claim since this is the third time I have applied.  I feel like I'm on the right track to better my future and the future of my kids but I'm running out of time to pay the rent, the money won't get here in time and I can't seem to find anywhere to help as far as the government assistance.  I'm so confused but I do keep going to the classes.  It just feels like a rollercoaster and I WANT OFF.  Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do.  Please let me know and thank you in advance.

Hi Jen,  your welcome.   anytime you need to talk feel free to write, I will answer you with in a day,  as soon as I get your post.

Life has took a turn for the better for today, I know that any time it can go the other way.  When it does I remember the few times that life is good and try my best to be grateful for my speech, my legs, arms the air I breathe.   Pretty soon, life isn't as  bad as I thought.

You make it a great day.  I so appreciate your commet.

God bless,

Kat

I remember feeling completly hopless about 3 and a half years ago. It all started w/ me being pregnant then I had an accident and got put in the hospital for a month. When I got out it wasn't long then my mom was in a hospital having to have surgery due to a tumor. It wan't too long after that and she was back in the hospital again this time w/ lung cancer, well when she went back for a check up they said she needed to have another surgery just to make sure that all the cancer was gone. So when it came time for my sister and I to have our babies our mom was in the hospital due to her third surgery. It just got worse from there her cancer spread from her lung to her brain, which they got rid off, but then it went to her spine and with my mom being sick my husband at the time decided he didn't want to be w/ me and his child, 2 days after he split w/ me I found him w/ someone else it really broke my heart. Now he is in prison and we are divorced. Our daughter doesn't even know who he is and probably never will b/c in the divorce he signed his rights over and wanted her last name changed to my miaden name and didn't even want to pay child support, I picked a real winner there but it's in the past and I can't change that. When our daughter was 2 months old she had to have heart surgery(this was also when my mom was sick w/ cancer) heart problems run on my dads side of the family and she was born w/ one, and well I was all by myself at the hospital w/ her and feeling so alone and like no one cared. I would cry to myself at night and when I was alone I felt like nothing. I didn't know what to do or how to fix it, I just wanted my little girl to be alright and she is her surgery went well and now she's 3 and being a little bugger. She goes to her heart doctor once a year for now and her last visit went well. I wouldn't give anything for her she means the world to me. I've learned that in life we will go through some hard and rough times but it can get better and sometimes it deals w/ the choices we make. There are times that are bad and tough that we can't do anything about such as a death in the family, my mom passed away w/ cancer when my little girl was 7 months old it took a long hard time for my mom but she got taken from us and now Angel doesn't have any memory of her grand ma. I fell like she is missing out.

Wow.  Thank you.  Truly.

~Jen

I think the problem is that we don't have an official language, so we can't expect people to learn "our" language to live here.  Maybe that needs to change.  I am in a similar situation - well educated, but without a second language.  My son is a minority in his school and that makes me worry about him, as I'm sure all minority mothers have worried since the beginning of time.

Going Crazy, I feel like you too, and I think that the stress I experienced at my last job, pushing and pushing myself to work from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. often six days a week with tons more duties and less pay (but more education and training than a few of my coworkers who made more money and had only one task because they were bilingual) contributed to worsening my conditions.

I feel like a stranger in my own country, as though I'm an alien here, that I'm being discriminated against because I'm white and "played by the rules", so to speak.

I got a college education (and went on to get even more education and many certifications), worked hard and was loyal to my employers, but as the years have gone on, former employers who demanded so much of me didn't care what happened when the company went out of business or moved operations elsewhere. Finally, I wound up earning a lot less than coworkers who barely graduated from high school but who were bilingual.

I feel like our own country has decided that speaking Spanish and English is much more important than whether one is a citizen, that all the education and hard work are meaningless if one isn't bilingual. My ex-husband is barely literate and barely graduated from high school but because he is bilingual, he earns more than $200,000 a year.

Despite all the degrees, certificates and awards I obtained, I never earned more than $40,000 a year.

Truly, I don't feel comfortable in the U.S. anymore; I feel like I am out of place, a stranger, a leper.

I don't know what to do about it either. At first, when I saw all the marches and protests by people here legally and illegally, demanding that illegal aliens be given the same rights as those of us born here, I kept waiting to see whether any U.S.-born citizens might stage a protest or march, at least to support the enforcement of U.S. laws. But there was nothing, and there has been nothing, and I presume there will never be any demonstrations or marches by anyone born in the U.S. asking our government why we aren't being treated fairly.

I did see on TV the other day that Americans were marching in opposition to the war between Russia and Georgia.

All I can say is that if no one else born in America is concerned that we have become second- and third-class citizens in our own country, or if no one is concerned enough to do anything about it, then we get what we deserve.

God Bless you all,

There have been many times in my life that hopelessness sat in, but i could not give-up, faith is the substance of things hope for, the evidence of things not seen. My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus. I always think about Job, A Godly man in the bible. He lost everything. God restored unto Job. God never leaves us, he is there! When we go through trials and in our darkish hour, he is there. Through the storm, he is there. Never let go of your faith and remember sometimes we don't see the picture by looking through the window, but if we go outside we see a broader view. We will have to go through things in life, but God is with us!

dry

If you think about it, if only ONE , just ONE, dentist , doctor, lawyer, or any profession that some of us need help from would just email or post a comment or anything on this page offering help just once a month for free, think of the folks they could help.  Depression is a horrible state to be in.  Feeling hopeless, sometimes I just wish all those folks with money could be in any of our shoes just for a day, you know what?  They'd be a whole lot more help out there for those who need it then there is now days.

I feel hopeless every day of my life but I do find that praying helps in many ways.  God can listen to your fears and even though you think he may not be helping, well, he is.  We've all heard that God works in misterious ways - well this is true.  We may not realize we're being helped but we are.  Now this is coming from me - who has bad dental problems, hate to job hunt because I feel like people are looking at my mouth and not knowing me for who I am.  But I keep going from day to day and I keep searching for an answer.  I know one day my ship will come in but to me it does seem like it never will.

I do find it helps to talk to all the people on aidpage because so many of us have the same problems and ALL of us just need a little help.  I wish those who could help us would join aidpage and at least help one or two that cant help themselves and not judge us before they get to know us.  Are there any folks like that out there?  Please let me know.

Just when you think you've had enough,  DONT QUIT, just dont quit.  Tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning for all of us. Every little thing will be alright with time.  Time changes everything.

Thanks

Debbie

I really don't know what american people have to do to get help from their own government.  I live in Miami one of the last English, American left here.  My husband lose his job in Oct. 2007 and I lost mine 1 month ago every job interview is the same you have to be bi-lingual.  I am over 50 and to try to learn a new language is horrible in my own country where I've paid taxs all my life.

If I came in on a raft or rubber tire, I would get a place to live, money, food, clothes.  It's like pulling teeth to get help if you are not a minority.  But I am a miniority I'm English American....

I LIKE THIS SUBJECT IT CAN HELP PEOPLE A LOT

Hopeless, is something I use to breath,  it engulfed every part of my life.  If your feeling hopeless, hold on,  there are many who have walked that road , and some of us still do, and even I have to  watch out I dont end up on that road again.  When u lose hope,  that is when depression will come in like a thief and swallow u up, this is why when i start feeling that emotion,  Im only to aqainted with,  I try and get out of my self, start helping someone, I have had some pretty horrible,  things happen in my life,  but there is always, always someone that has it worse, unless I just decide I want to sit and get ring about the but,  from sitting on the pity pot,  now please do not take me wrong, Im about as compassiant and empathetic as they come...  But I also know there have been times when I just sat there feeling sorry for myself, and didn't do anything to change it.     Hopelessness,  is depression's buddy, along with self hated, and  worthlessnes,  it's like  they run in packs like a group of wolves.   When I went thru this, rejection ruled my life, you know, that horrible feeling, that no body likes you,  and why would they.   I know when one of these emotions, starts to move in on me, I have to fight it with all I am. and pray to God, to please help.     Now they are  bad days mostly,  or they are just bad moments, instead of months or even years.   but I have learned,  when I start losing my hope, it can turn in to a down hill spirial, very quickly, into all of  those all too familar thoughts like-    " I don't matter" anyway", " it dosnt matter",  " this is it"," this is  my life",  and the biggest  thought of all, " nothing will ever change",  I can get on a real voyage with my thoughts, that will take me to the bottom of a very dark and gloomy  sea,  and me not k knowing how to swim, and with out a life jacket,  you say dang, you  sure paint a awflul  picture.  Well the topic, is "feeling  hopeless".    Feeling hopeless is not a  pretty picture.  Maybe some who is  looking thru these posts, that have had everything going them, most of their life,  you know the nice parents, the nice parents with money,  the nice parents with money that gave them everything, from toddler on up thru graduate college.  Maybe thats, why some don't offer help, they think all of this is made up, I'm hoping I can paint a picture that they can, look at and go,  I never and any idea, people actually  really felt  that bad...... but we know, don't we those on here who have been desperate, for food, job, transpertaion,  money to pay the bills,  those of who need need medical treatment, and have absoluting no way to get it.  We all  know this is real..   We are not writing on here and humbling our selves, because its fun,  or we thought,  when I get older , Im going to be in debt, or Im going to need surgery, and have  no way to pay for it, or when I get older, I'm going out on  the street corner and beg for money.   The thing about hopeless, the one good thing is you do not have to stay stuck, but it takes, knowing there is just  one person, is aware you are hurting, or for a moment trusting in a God perhaps you have been mad at for yours. It does take a effort of some kind on you part, move on and not feel that insidious feeling.

I've had said more then once since finding this site, a few days back, this is a gift from God, that is my own belief.  Because here you will find that one person, who believes you are  of value, who will take time out of there day, to respond to your pain, either because they have walked thru it, or because they just have  good hearts, and want to help there fellow human beings, we truly care, or I do, and I'm sure from what I've heard on here that there are others,   care too

In this fast moving age where we you find people with a cell phone in one hand and your land line in the other, we have forgotten, somehow, to stop and smell the roses, or to notice the hurting people we pass on the street.  We have become part of the landscape, how sad for us, that we have so excited, over, things like,   what all does your  cell phone do,  instead realizing that not have everyone even has a cell phone, heck some people dont have any kind of phone, or even a home let alone a phone. Its no wonder there is a whole group of people that are feeling hopeless, and I would say that the numbers of people, that are set apart, grows everyday.   While the other side of the coin, people just keep getting more and more, the best health food ,  the best cup of coffee.  Its all about out doing your neighbor,  what ever happen to "love your neighbor", what ever happen to brotherly love period?   I know it still alive in some hearts, because I've found it on this site. I guess I better shut up.   I'm so tired, I was up at 4am writing responding to a post today, and I'm very detailed in explain things.

Be good to yourself, kick  "that hopeless feeling in the b-hind. and say no, I choose to  to fight, and to see who I can help today. it may not chane your immediate need, whether it be finances, or needing a car, or a job,  or me getting my 6 implants and special dentures I need.   But I can almost guaratee you, if you come on here and you start looking thru these posts, while you are waiting for your miracle, you can become somebody elses, just by noticing they exist and responding back to them....

Thank you so much for putting up with my lenghty  posts...   God bless you in all, and God I pray against hopeless that is attacting so many, I say You are greater God, so bring these people peace that surpasses understanding, and renew there hope, first in themselves, that they have value, then give them the desire to reach out with a word, or many words.  and God I also pray if any one reads this,  that has the means to help, some of us that  are struggling with a car, and they have one that just sits, put it on their heart to use wisdom, then bless someone with it.  If they have a pantry full of food,  put it on their heart to send a care a box non perishables out there,  and if we should be so blessed, that drs, and dentist, and oral surgeons, lawyers, anyone in the professional field would read this, that God instead of snickering, and making fun, of us and saying go get a job, when they know nothing about us, that God, they would want to reach out and start, giving of their time and services,  I dont mean that they be foolish and help every single person, because there will always be those few that would take advantage, but why should those of us who are suffering and in need, of medical help, and dental help, yes the kind of help that usually only the very rich or the famous get, and most of the time, maybe not all of the time its about vanity, not because they are really sick. again I'm not saying they are all that way, but I would say they majority.  God, please, please, start sending people like what I just mentioned to this site. and then tug on their hearts..  I also pray that any scammers,  would just start feeling sick to their stomachs litearlly every time they think about going on a web site, and espially this one, to offer help that is fake that will cause hopelessness, and also, the ones that would use this site, for a free ride, and ruin it for those that really are in need, and don't know where to turn... I thank you ahead of time, for hearing this prayer... Amen

thanks Kat 

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I am a 'single' (married, but separated) mother of two beautiful kids. (That's them in the picture). I am trying to get started again after being separated from my husband. He is living in another state now, trying to get his life together to hopefully bring our family together again. But he's been unable to find a job, but is living with relatives. I am still in our home state, with a roommate, struggling to make ends meet. I recently went back to work, but will not get my first paycheck until the 23rd of this month. I am unable to pay for my daycare for the next four weeks. I need $200 to be able to survive until I get steady paychecks in. I am only looking for a loan. I am a hardworking woman & just want a chance to work. I have tried to get assistance, but there is a waiting list & they are unable to help me.

My husband is going to help as soon as he finds a job, but has been having no luck. I am alone in the world right now. My only other family lives in California & I am in Florida. I am willing to pay back anyone who can lend me enough money to get started. I would do it in payments, but I would do it. My kids are 7 (8 this month, but won't have much of a birthday because I have NO extra money at all. I have about $10 to my name right now.) & 8 months.. my baby girl had open heart surgery in Februray & that is why we are in such bad money situation. My husband's job got put in risk & it caused him to have to go elsewhere to try & make a life for us. 'til then I am on my own. I will be unable to work unless I can pay for my daycare. Please, I  just need a GOOD break for once. With my daughter's condition.. good breaks have been hard to find. It's gotten to the point where I have contemplated ending my own life because I don't feel I can support them enough & I must not be doing something right. Even when I WANT to work.

If you can help me, please email me (julietsrefrain@gmail.com). I have a paypal account if needed & access to Western Union at my job. Thank you.

The picture is my daughter about an hour after her open heart surgery. 

I am a 'single' (married, but separated) mother of two beautiful kids. (That's them in the picture). I am trying to get started again after being separated from my husband. He is living in another state now, trying to get his life together to hopefully bring our family together again. But he's been unable to find a job, but is living with relatives. I am still in our home state, with a roommate, struggling to make ends meet. I recently went back to work, but will not get my first paycheck until the 23rd of this month. I am unable to pay for my daycare for the next four weeks. I need $400 to be able to survive until I get steady paychecks in. I am only looking for a loan. I am a hardworking woman & just want a chance to work. I have tried to get assistance, but there is a waiting list & they are unable to help me.

My husband is going to help as soon as he finds a job, but has been having no luck. I am alone in the world right now. My only other family lives in California & I am in Florida. I am willing to pay back anyone who can lend me enough money to get started. I would do it in payments, but I would do it. My kids are 7 (8 this month, but won't have much of a birthday because I have NO extra money at all. I have about $30 to my name right now.) & 8 months.. my baby girl had open heart surgery in Februray & that is why we are in such bad money situation. My husband's job got put in risk & it caused him to have to go elsewhere to try & make a life for us. 'til then I am on my own. I will be unable to work unless I can pay for my daycare. Please, I  just need a GOOD break for once. With my daughter's condition.. good breaks have been hard to find. It's gotten to the point where I have contemplated ending my own life because I don't feel I can support them enough & I must not be doing something right. Even when I WANT to work.

If you can help me, please email me (julietsrefrain@gmail.com). I have a paypal account if needed & access to Western Union at my job. Thank you.

The picture is myself with my little ones, the day of my daughter's open heart surgery. We were just waiting to take her upstairs. She was only 4 months old at the time.

I am a 'single' (married, but separated) mother of two beautiful kids. (That's them in the picture). I am trying to get started again after being separated from my husband. He is living in another state now, trying to get his life together to hopefully bring our family together again. But he's been unable to find a job, but is living with relatives. I am still in our home state, with a roommate, struggling to make ends meet. I recently went back to work, but will not get my first paycheck until the 23rd of this month. I am unable to pay for my daycare for the next four weeks. I need $400 to be able to survive until I get steady paychecks in. I am only looking for a loan. I am a hardworking woman & just want a chance to work. I have tried to get assistance, but there is a waiting list & they are unable to help me.

My husband is going to help as soon as he finds a job, but has been having no luck. I am alone in the world right now. My only other family lives in California & I am in Florida. I am willing to pay back anyone who can lend me enough money to get started. I would do it in payments, but I would do it. My kids are 7 (8 this month, but won't have much of a birthday because I have NO extra money at all. I have about $30 to my name right now.) & 8 months.. my baby girl had open heart surgery in Februray & that is why we are in such bad money situation. My husband's job got put in risk & it caused him to have to go elsewhere to try & make a life for us. 'til then I am on my own. I will be unable to work unless I can pay for my daycare. Please, I  just need a GOOD break for once. With my daughter's condition.. good breaks have been hard to find. It's gotten to the point where I have contemplated ending my own life because I don't feel I can support them enough & I must not be doing something right. Even when I WANT to work.

If you can help me, please email me (julietsrefrain@gmail.com). I have a paypal account if needed & access to Western Union at my job. Thank you.

The picture is myself with my little ones, the day of my daughter's open heart surgery. We were just waiting to take her upstairs. She was only 4 months old at the time.

    Hi, I am a christian mother of 4 and my husband has been the main finacial income since I sustained injuries from a drunk driver in 95.  I work at home on the computer.  My husband has several disabilities that do not qualify for Social Security.  He had lost his job in Feb 2007, He got another job that paid less in March.  He was doing good and we were getting caught back up on bills.  We have lost our house to a preditory lender and have a old farm house that we got on a land contract so we could afford it.  On May 5 my husband started having chest pains and on May 10 he was admited to the hospital with a possible heart attack.  The doctors said he didn't have a heart attack instead though they found a mass on his brain.  His employer fired him.  We have stayed in our forclosed house because our farm house doesn't have any electric.  We were in the ending of repairing it when everything went south.  I am in need of alot.  Our Water will be shut off on May 30, we owe $376.89 on it and our electric was due off on the 29th for the amount of 683.00, I sent them a voucher for $199, I am not sure if that will delay it or not.  The gas is due off on the 30th also, it is in the amount of $68(?).  I have applied for county assistance and it is pending.  I am praying that they will back date it to cover the 13,950 hospital bill.  I have asked God to send me an angel.   I will pray that my angel reads this and is led to help us in anyway.  thanks for reading this.